36. Mindset: Intentional Time Management for Chronically Productive Women (Part 1 of 2)
Do you feel like you're always rushing through life, trying to get everything done but never having enough time? You wake up thinking about your to-do list, go to bed worrying about what didn't get finished, and move through your days with a constant buzz of low-grade anxiety.
As women, we're rewarded for putting others first and saying yes to everyone else's needs at the expense of our own. But what if the key to having more time isn't about getting a new planner or learning the latest productivity hacks? What if it's about managing your mind and thinking on purpose? If you're ready to break free from survival mode, stop putting yourself last, and start living your life with more intention, this episode is for you.
Tune in this week as we guide you through a mini time audit exercise to bring awareness to how you're currently spending your time and energy, and how it’s contributing to your constant low-level anxiety buzz. We also share our favorite tool for protecting your most valuable asset: yourself.
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why the stories we tell ourselves are reflected in how we manage our time.
How to do a mini time audit to bring awareness to where you're spending your time and energy.
The real reason why you're so busy all the time.
Why thinking of yourself as the asset is key to managing your time with intention.
How to balance your masculine and feminine energy to avoid burnout.
Why you need to do the mindset work before reaching for a new planner or productivity tool.
A short protect-the-asset exercise to help you make more intentional decisions with your time.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Kelle: Ever feel like you’re sprinting through life constantly in a rush, every light needs to be green to get it all done?
Nina: Yeah. You go to bed thinking about what didn’t get done. You wake up thinking about everything you have to do and sort of move through your day with this low grade anxiety buzz, are we right?
Kelle: Yeah. You don’t have time to take care of everything else you have to do, let alone take care of yourself.
Nina: And do you ever realize you aren’t taking deep breaths? Maybe you haven’t eaten all day or gone to the bathroom.
Kelle: And it totally makes sense. As humans socialized as women, we are rewarded when we serve others before ourselves, to over-serve, overdo without complaining at our own expense, to say yes to them and take our place at the back of the line.
Nina: Yeah, you need a break, you’re begging for one. You don’t wallow though, so go ahead and buy that new planner, paper or digital or the app, but they wind up unused a month out.
Kelle: Yeah. You want to be more calm, more present in your life for the people that are important to you but you can’t turn off all the to-do’s and don’t know how to relax. You’re in survival mode or all week long.
Nina: We get it, we’ve been there. Honestly though, if I’d had 10+ more hours in my day back in the day, I probably would have just filled it with more of the same, know what I mean, Kel?
Kelle: Oh, for sure, totally. The problem here isn’t really about creating more time, it’s about using your time, living your life with more intention on purpose.
Nina: Yeah, it’s about deciding ahead of time who you want to be and how you want to spend the time you have, how you want to feel day-to-day.
Kelle: Yeah, let’s get intentional about how you want to feel in your life and organize your time accordingly.
Nina: Yeah, let’s do the mindset work first here before you go out and buy that new planner.
Kelle: We want to tell you, you don’t need a new planner or the latest time hack here. It starts with some awareness and attention. We call this time management on purpose, and this is the essential first step.
Nina: Alrighty, let’s get going. This is Ambitious-Ish. Burnout? Check. Daily overwhelm? Check. Resentment rash, stress, and a complete lack of well-being? Check, check, check! You’re not alone. We’re your hosts, Kelle & Nina, and we are here to help you feel calm, balanced, and empowered so you can redefine success, make choices that feel authentic, and ACTUALLY enjoy the life you work so hard to create. You ready? Let’s go.
Kelle: Hey, I’m Kelle.
Nina: And I’m Nina. It’s a chilly one here in Park City today, Kelle, it’s snowing. It’s, I almost said December. It’s October 29th.
Kelle: Yeah, I don’t know how many inches we have out there, but my dog is cruising around and she’s like, what is happening?
Nina: Yeah, my dogs are so happy, but the pumpkins are very sad.
Kelle: Yeah, we don’t know how Halloween is going to look, but it’s going to be a bundle up one. Definitely bring your cozy stuff.
Nina: Layer up.
Kelle: Yes, all the layers.
Nina: Okay. Well, let’s get going. If you’re new to Ambitious-Ish, or if you’ve been a listener for a while, you know we love helping smart driven women feel better in their lives, to actually enjoy the life they work so hard to create.
Kelle: Yeah, a big part of the work we do starts with the internal mindset work. We help clients pay attention to themselves differently by becoming aware of how they’re thinking affects the results they create in their lives.
Nina: And this is so key when it comes to managing our time, because listen, the stories we tell ourselves are reflected in how we manage our time.
Kelle: Totally. We don’t think about it this way, but it’s so true. We have to take a look at our thinking first before we start to take action differently, to manage our time differently. This is where we’ll go today.
Nina: As women, we’re conditioned to put ourselves last or at least put everyone else first. To nurture and care and serve, and lead and accomplish and do for everyone around us and we wind up taking our places at the back of the line.
Kelle: One of our clients said last week that she’d like to be one of the stakeholders in her life because it feels like she reports to everyone else but herself.
Nina: Yeah. And when we talk about managing our time, we’re also talking about our energy because it doesn’t help if you have more time, but you’ve completely exhausted yourself in the process, right?
Kelle: 100%. We know what you’re feeling because we’ve been there working really long hours. I was in pharmaceutical sales and Nina was in PR, hustling to get it all done, only to come home and continue to rush at home too, feeling exhausted. And then wake up and do it all again the next day, our own personal Groundhog Day.
Nina: Yeah, the hamster wheel. So, let’s dive in here. Let’s start with a little awareness exercise for you to explore. We’re going to do what we call a mini time audit. So, take a look back at the last two weeks. How did you spend your time, in what areas of your life?
Kelle: Alright. And just to give you some examples. It might be work, travel, kids’ schedules, your emails, driving the Uber, a particular project at work maybe, seeing friends or family, doing stuff around the house, getting projects done, planning for Halloween. How are you spending your time?
Nina: Okay. And then consider a few questions. Why? Why have you spent so much of your time in these areas? Does it make sense why you felt so busy, too busy? How do you want to spend your time?
Kelle: Here’s a good one. How long have you felt busy? I mean, we’re guessing years. And another question. What do you want more of in your life?
Nina: Yeah, okay. So, here’s the real reason why you’re so busy all the time. It’s likely because you’re telling yourself any one of the following stories. The busier I am, the better I am. I can outwork anyone. I’m not good at relaxing. I don’t walk slow. If I don’t do it, it won’t get done. I have to do it all. I can’t rely on them. It has to be done right. I have so much to prove. I just don’t have time and I don’t want to let anyone down.
Kelle: Listen, rock stars, it’s clear you can outwork anyone, it’s your superpower. All of our clients tell us that. Working yourself to the bone, doing it by yourself and having it be hard, makes the accomplishment that much more satisfying, that dopamine hit is that much more intense. But how are you feeling along the way? How are you being, leading, exampling?
Nina: Yeah, just because you can do it all doesn’t always mean you should, rock stars.
Kelle: Yeah. We think productivity is about getting more done, but that’s an oversimplification. True productivity is really about getting more of the important things done.
Nina: It’s about eliminating distractions and focusing on what’s important and what really matters. And that means delegating, outsourcing responsibilities, asking for help and setting boundaries, sure. And we teach and refine these with all of our clients, but it starts by thinking of yourself as more important and treating yourself that way, then organizing your life in a way to support that belief that you matter.
Kelle: Alright. Does this resonate? What we’re saying here is when you don’t make time for yourself, you’re telling yourself you’re not worth the time.
Nina: So that’s where we check in. What’s the point here? What’s most important to you and at what expense? What if you thought of yourself as more important, like an asset, the asset, is that reflected in your to-do list? How are you protecting the asset?
Kelle: Yeah. This leads to our one simple truth of our coaching practice. You’ve heard us talk about this before and we’re redundant when it’s important, your thoughts create your feelings. So, what are your thoughts about yourself? What are your opinions, what are your stories, what are you believing about you? What are you believing about time?
Nina: We just touched on what’s most important in your life. Maybe it’s your kids, your family, your work. Why aren’t you on that list? You make, create, care, work, earn, organize, serve, lead and accomplish so much for everyone around you.
Kelle: Yeah. If you thought of yourself with importance as an asset, how would you show up for yourself? How would you manage your time? How would you make decisions? Invest in yourself.
Nina: It’s tricky, though, we’re praised most when we care for ourselves the least. Then when we notice this and wake up to our desire for more, we have a hard time actually doing it, giving our time and energy to things that are for us, for our own benefit.
Kelle: We think it’s selfish to invest in our real health, happiness, and fulfillment, to make decisions from our own conviction and self-worth. Instead of his or hers or theirs, making decisions out of obligation because you think you should, which is just so meh.
Nina: But if you believed you were the asset, it wouldn’t be hard. You’d be making sure your needs were met daily because you’d believe you were important. The flow of your life would work in your favor because you would set it up that way. You’d be protecting the asset.
Kelle: So, listen, rock stars, you don’t have to quit your job. You don’t have to hire an au pair or get a divorce or buy a new planner or get the latest book on time management hacks. Having more time in your day starts by managing your mind and thinking on purpose. This is a practice of becoming aware of how you’re thinking, impacts your emotions, your behaviors, and the results that you want to create in your life.
Nina: So, let’s take a second, revisit where you’re putting your time from that time audit we introduced you to a few minutes ago. We’re challenging you to consider the reason why your obligations, your work, your relationships are sucking up your time and energy. Is actually because of the amount of real estate you’re giving them in your brain, the open loops, the rumination, the questioning that takes place in your brain.
Kelle: And there is very likely a root cause belief that they and their needs are more important than you and your needs.
Nina: Cue the resentment rash.
Kelle: Yeah, You’re sidelining yourself and it’s costing you. You’re running on empty. Instead of building energy reserves, you’re constantly leaking energy.
Nina: Yeah. And when you tell yourself, the busier you are, the better you are or rest is lazy or I can’t make mistakes or I can’t rely on them or I’ve got it, on repeat, what is it costing you?
Kelle: If you don’t question these thoughts, you’ll just fill up that new planner with a kajillion of your existing to-do’s and rinse and repeat.
Nina: So, do you want to have a full life where you like how you allocate your time and resources to protect the asset, or a busy life?
Kelle: This is where we challenge you to think on purpose, to consider challenging the belief that the busier you are, the better you are, the more depleted you are, the better you’ve done, the more you’ve gotten done.
Nina: You are the asset. Are you protecting the asset? We talked about the difference between what we call masculine and feminine energy back in episode 27 and this is a great opportunity to bring that concept front of mind again.
Kelle: Yeah, I love that.
Nina: When we’re looking to protect the asset, to shift away from all of the rigidity, predictability, planning and getting things done. And practice being softer, slowing down, taking more time off and being more grounded and organizing our lives with these values in mind, it might feel really uncomfortable.
Kelle: Yeah, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad. Finding the balance is key here. So many of our clients have been living in their masculine energy for years and it’s gotten them really far. There just comes a time when we need more balance emotionally and energetically and physically and spiritually. That’s where we need to go here.
Nina: Okay, let’s give it away here. One of our favorite tools, this is a five minute practice we call protecting the asset. So, the first step is to check in. So first, take a closer look at your time audit or do one on your own any time you find yourself in survival, totally overwhelmed and you don’t have any time. And just consider what are you saying yes to and what are you saying no to?
Kelle: Because when you say yes to one thing, you’re automatically saying no to something else. So, this is how you start to protect the asset, which is you. You see where you’re unwittingly putting your time and energy in your life and this is all just data.
Nina: Be kind to yourselves here, rock stars. We take in all of this information in order to see where we can make shifts. This is all an invitation to do things differently. This is gold.
Kelle: Yeah. Where are you saying yes out of obligation? Where are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? Where are you trying to be polite or do things because you think you should?
Nina: Yeah. And this leads to the second part of this exercise, to check in on your why. So, you’ve figured out what you’re saying yes to, what you’re saying no to. And then we want you to check in on your why and this is just data too. Why are you saying yes to working late most nights? Just be honest with yourself. Why are you saying yes to checking your emails at the soccer game instead of watching the game? Just check in here.
Kelle: Our suggestion here is to like your reasons why. So, if you’re not super pumped on your whys right now, that’s totally fine, it makes sense maybe why you’re feeling so frazzled and sweaty and overwhelmed and resentful.
Nina: Yeah, this is where we need to go to get into alignment, to reconnect with and get clear on what’s really most important to us. And make sure we’re saying yes to those things in an intentional way, creating more balance in your life and relationships with the decisions you make.
Kelle: Yeah. See how when you’re aware of what you’re thinking, you can begin to see how you might be holding yourself back. And when you learn to question those old stories of why you’re saying yes and why you’re saying no, those thoughts in your head, and to manage your mind, you spend less time overthinking.
Nina: Yeah, you have less self-doubt and insecurity. You stop second guessing yourself. You spend less time worrying. You stop people pleasing and start to make decisions for you, guilt free, yes, we said guilt free, we’ll show you how. You’re more intentional about what you’re saying yes to and what you’re saying no to and you stay in alignment, true to how you want to feel and actually enjoy the life you work so hard to create.
Kelle: When you put this into practice, you create more time in your day, in your week and in your life. And when we can put more time in our days, we can create a more fulfilling life. We can fill each moment with what we are wanting to create on purpose instead of mindlessly using our time in our life unintentionally.
Nina: Yeah, a big part of what we do in coaching is learning to like yourself more, making sense of your past, knowing you’ve done everything you’ve done in life so far in a way that’s made a lot of sense. And also realizing there is a better feeling way to do it all.
Kelle: Yeah, you can feel better, more empowered in pursuit of your big dreams and ambitions so, you show up fully at your full potential, not leaking energy or burnout. We’re protecting the asset all along the way.
Nina: Yeah, this is the takeaway today. If you really want to transform your life, you have to invest in your mind and take action from new thoughts, new beliefs. So that new planner, just shelve it for a while. Without doing this deeper mindset work first, you’ll just continue to organize your time on those pages without you in mind, putting everyone else first, rinse and repeat.
Kelle: When we take action from a place of self-respect and self-leadership, we create completely different results in our life than if we were taking action from a place of self-doubt or victim mentality.
Nina: This way life doesn’t happen to us or at us, it happens by us and through us.
Kelle: And I would even say, because of us, and the same goes with how we manage our time, how we live out our day.
Nina: Yeah. If we’re in survival mode, we aren’t approaching our day as the CEO, the chief energy officers. We’re reacting to what life throws at us, and there’s a lot of fear and anxiety. It’s a scramble and a hustle. This is not where we do our best work.
Kelle: That’s why this inner work, this mindset work is so key. We have to clean up our thinking before we can reach for the planner and start to take action. We are creating a life on purpose from a grounded, sufficient place, not a place of scarcity and fear and survival mode.
Nina: Yeah, watching your brain like this is like holding it up to a mirror. You start to become aware of your thoughts and then question them and decide what to do with them, keep them, tweak them, don’t keep them.
Kelle: And listen, there is nothing wrong with what you find when you do this work. You are not broken. Your life looks pretty great from the outside. There is just another way to think about your circumstances, about your obligations and relationships that will make you feel more empowered and create different outcomes.
Nina: Yeah, when you’re telling yourself on repeat that you don’t have enough time, that thought makes you feel rushed and so, you rush through your day. You wind up doing a lot of things but not doing them well, are we right? Maybe even dropping balls. And then your self-esteem and self-confidence tanks and sort of a downward spiral.
Kelle: Yeah, some of the women we work with feel like they’re underliving, maybe you can relate. Our business coach actually calls this underearning, when you know you could be making more money than you are and the only thing holding you back is your own self-concept.
Nina: Yeah. A main cause of underliving is underestimating your own amazingness. It’s like you forgot how priceless you are, and so you don’t treat yourself like the priceless prize you really are.
Kelle: Yeah, I love that so much. We all have all kinds of stories about why we don’t deserve the things that we deeply crave. We have those stories too, and we self-coach and get coaching on them and reach a new level. And then have a new story to clear up when we get to the next level of achievement or growth.
Nina: Yeah. So, are you underliving? Are there dreams you hold in your heart about your life, your work in the world, that you know you are capable of but not currently doing? Man, when I say that aloud, I just want to cry. I know how that feels, I’ve been there. And if this resonates with you, if you also feel that longing, that pining, you are in the right place, you are ambitious-ish, just like me, just like us.
Kelle: Yeah. We’re so here for you. More to come on how to have more time. We’ll bring you strategies and practices in the next episode. But the first step is always to do mindset work. It’s managing your mind so your thinking is clean to take different actions in your life.
Nina: Yeah, so true. That’s how we roll around here, mindset first. Alright, thanks for listening today, all.
Kelle: Yeah, thank you so much for being here. See you next time.
Nina: Hey everyone, if you want more live access to me and Kelle, you have to join our email list.
Kelle: Yes, we’ll come to your email box every Tuesday and Thursday.
Nina: You can ask us questions, get clarity and get coached.
Kelle: We offer monthly free email coaching when you’re on our list and you’re the first to know about trainings, events and other free coaching opportunities.
Nina: Just go to kelleandnina.com. That’s K E L L E and nina.com to sign up.
Kelle: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode of Ambitious-Ish.
Nina: If you’re ready to align your ambitions with your heart and feel more calm, balanced, and connected, visit https://www.kelleandnina.com/ for more information about how to work with us and make sure you get on our list.
Kelle: See you in the next episode!
Nina: Yeah. You go to bed thinking about what didn’t get done. You wake up thinking about everything you have to do and sort of move through your day with this low grade anxiety buzz, are we right?
Kelle: Yeah. You don’t have time to take care of everything else you have to do, let alone take care of yourself.
Nina: And do you ever realize you aren’t taking deep breaths? Maybe you haven’t eaten all day or gone to the bathroom.
Kelle: And it totally makes sense. As humans socialized as women, we are rewarded when we serve others before ourselves, to over-serve, overdo without complaining at our own expense, to say yes to them and take our place at the back of the line.
Nina: Yeah, you need a break, you’re begging for one. You don’t wallow though, so go ahead and buy that new planner, paper or digital or the app, but they wind up unused a month out.
Kelle: Yeah. You want to be more calm, more present in your life for the people that are important to you but you can’t turn off all the to-do’s and don’t know how to relax. You’re in survival mode or all week long.
Nina: We get it, we’ve been there. Honestly though, if I’d had 10+ more hours in my day back in the day, I probably would have just filled it with more of the same, know what I mean, Kel?
Kelle: Oh, for sure, totally. The problem here isn’t really about creating more time, it’s about using your time, living your life with more intention on purpose.
Nina: Yeah, it’s about deciding ahead of time who you want to be and how you want to spend the time you have, how you want to feel day-to-day.
Kelle: Yeah, let’s get intentional about how you want to feel in your life and organize your time accordingly.
Nina: Yeah, let’s do the mindset work first here before you go out and buy that new planner.
Kelle: We want to tell you, you don’t need a new planner or the latest time hack here. It starts with some awareness and attention. We call this time management on purpose, and this is the essential first step.
Nina: Alrighty, let’s get going. This is Ambitious-Ish. Burnout? Check. Daily overwhelm? Check. Resentment rash, stress, and a complete lack of well-being? Check, check, check! You’re not alone. We’re your hosts, Kelle & Nina, and we are here to help you feel calm, balanced, and empowered so you can redefine success, make choices that feel authentic, and ACTUALLY enjoy the life you work so hard to create. You ready? Let’s go.
Kelle: Hey, I’m Kelle.
Nina: And I’m Nina. It’s a chilly one here in Park City today, Kelle, it’s snowing. It’s, I almost said December. It’s October 29th.
Kelle: Yeah, I don’t know how many inches we have out there, but my dog is cruising around and she’s like, what is happening?
Nina: Yeah, my dogs are so happy, but the pumpkins are very sad.
Kelle: Yeah, we don’t know how Halloween is going to look, but it’s going to be a bundle up one. Definitely bring your cozy stuff.
Nina: Layer up.
Kelle: Yes, all the layers.
Nina: Okay. Well, let’s get going. If you’re new to Ambitious-Ish, or if you’ve been a listener for a while, you know we love helping smart driven women feel better in their lives, to actually enjoy the life they work so hard to create.
Kelle: Yeah, a big part of the work we do starts with the internal mindset work. We help clients pay attention to themselves differently by becoming aware of how they’re thinking affects the results they create in their lives.
Nina: And this is so key when it comes to managing our time, because listen, the stories we tell ourselves are reflected in how we manage our time.
Kelle: Totally. We don’t think about it this way, but it’s so true. We have to take a look at our thinking first before we start to take action differently, to manage our time differently. This is where we’ll go today.
Nina: As women, we’re conditioned to put ourselves last or at least put everyone else first. To nurture and care and serve, and lead and accomplish and do for everyone around us and we wind up taking our places at the back of the line.
Kelle: One of our clients said last week that she’d like to be one of the stakeholders in her life because it feels like she reports to everyone else but herself.
Nina: Yeah. And when we talk about managing our time, we’re also talking about our energy because it doesn’t help if you have more time, but you’ve completely exhausted yourself in the process, right?
Kelle: 100%. We know what you’re feeling because we’ve been there working really long hours. I was in pharmaceutical sales and Nina was in PR, hustling to get it all done, only to come home and continue to rush at home too, feeling exhausted. And then wake up and do it all again the next day, our own personal Groundhog Day.
Nina: Yeah, the hamster wheel. So, let’s dive in here. Let’s start with a little awareness exercise for you to explore. We’re going to do what we call a mini time audit. So, take a look back at the last two weeks. How did you spend your time, in what areas of your life?
Kelle: Alright. And just to give you some examples. It might be work, travel, kids’ schedules, your emails, driving the Uber, a particular project at work maybe, seeing friends or family, doing stuff around the house, getting projects done, planning for Halloween. How are you spending your time?
Nina: Okay. And then consider a few questions. Why? Why have you spent so much of your time in these areas? Does it make sense why you felt so busy, too busy? How do you want to spend your time?
Kelle: Here’s a good one. How long have you felt busy? I mean, we’re guessing years. And another question. What do you want more of in your life?
Nina: Yeah, okay. So, here’s the real reason why you’re so busy all the time. It’s likely because you’re telling yourself any one of the following stories. The busier I am, the better I am. I can outwork anyone. I’m not good at relaxing. I don’t walk slow. If I don’t do it, it won’t get done. I have to do it all. I can’t rely on them. It has to be done right. I have so much to prove. I just don’t have time and I don’t want to let anyone down.
Kelle: Listen, rock stars, it’s clear you can outwork anyone, it’s your superpower. All of our clients tell us that. Working yourself to the bone, doing it by yourself and having it be hard, makes the accomplishment that much more satisfying, that dopamine hit is that much more intense. But how are you feeling along the way? How are you being, leading, exampling?
Nina: Yeah, just because you can do it all doesn’t always mean you should, rock stars.
Kelle: Yeah. We think productivity is about getting more done, but that’s an oversimplification. True productivity is really about getting more of the important things done.
Nina: It’s about eliminating distractions and focusing on what’s important and what really matters. And that means delegating, outsourcing responsibilities, asking for help and setting boundaries, sure. And we teach and refine these with all of our clients, but it starts by thinking of yourself as more important and treating yourself that way, then organizing your life in a way to support that belief that you matter.
Kelle: Alright. Does this resonate? What we’re saying here is when you don’t make time for yourself, you’re telling yourself you’re not worth the time.
Nina: So that’s where we check in. What’s the point here? What’s most important to you and at what expense? What if you thought of yourself as more important, like an asset, the asset, is that reflected in your to-do list? How are you protecting the asset?
Kelle: Yeah. This leads to our one simple truth of our coaching practice. You’ve heard us talk about this before and we’re redundant when it’s important, your thoughts create your feelings. So, what are your thoughts about yourself? What are your opinions, what are your stories, what are you believing about you? What are you believing about time?
Nina: We just touched on what’s most important in your life. Maybe it’s your kids, your family, your work. Why aren’t you on that list? You make, create, care, work, earn, organize, serve, lead and accomplish so much for everyone around you.
Kelle: Yeah. If you thought of yourself with importance as an asset, how would you show up for yourself? How would you manage your time? How would you make decisions? Invest in yourself.
Nina: It’s tricky, though, we’re praised most when we care for ourselves the least. Then when we notice this and wake up to our desire for more, we have a hard time actually doing it, giving our time and energy to things that are for us, for our own benefit.
Kelle: We think it’s selfish to invest in our real health, happiness, and fulfillment, to make decisions from our own conviction and self-worth. Instead of his or hers or theirs, making decisions out of obligation because you think you should, which is just so meh.
Nina: But if you believed you were the asset, it wouldn’t be hard. You’d be making sure your needs were met daily because you’d believe you were important. The flow of your life would work in your favor because you would set it up that way. You’d be protecting the asset.
Kelle: So, listen, rock stars, you don’t have to quit your job. You don’t have to hire an au pair or get a divorce or buy a new planner or get the latest book on time management hacks. Having more time in your day starts by managing your mind and thinking on purpose. This is a practice of becoming aware of how you’re thinking, impacts your emotions, your behaviors, and the results that you want to create in your life.
Nina: So, let’s take a second, revisit where you’re putting your time from that time audit we introduced you to a few minutes ago. We’re challenging you to consider the reason why your obligations, your work, your relationships are sucking up your time and energy. Is actually because of the amount of real estate you’re giving them in your brain, the open loops, the rumination, the questioning that takes place in your brain.
Kelle: And there is very likely a root cause belief that they and their needs are more important than you and your needs.
Nina: Cue the resentment rash.
Kelle: Yeah, You’re sidelining yourself and it’s costing you. You’re running on empty. Instead of building energy reserves, you’re constantly leaking energy.
Nina: Yeah. And when you tell yourself, the busier you are, the better you are or rest is lazy or I can’t make mistakes or I can’t rely on them or I’ve got it, on repeat, what is it costing you?
Kelle: If you don’t question these thoughts, you’ll just fill up that new planner with a kajillion of your existing to-do’s and rinse and repeat.
Nina: So, do you want to have a full life where you like how you allocate your time and resources to protect the asset, or a busy life?
Kelle: This is where we challenge you to think on purpose, to consider challenging the belief that the busier you are, the better you are, the more depleted you are, the better you’ve done, the more you’ve gotten done.
Nina: You are the asset. Are you protecting the asset? We talked about the difference between what we call masculine and feminine energy back in episode 27 and this is a great opportunity to bring that concept front of mind again.
Kelle: Yeah, I love that.
Nina: When we’re looking to protect the asset, to shift away from all of the rigidity, predictability, planning and getting things done. And practice being softer, slowing down, taking more time off and being more grounded and organizing our lives with these values in mind, it might feel really uncomfortable.
Kelle: Yeah, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad. Finding the balance is key here. So many of our clients have been living in their masculine energy for years and it’s gotten them really far. There just comes a time when we need more balance emotionally and energetically and physically and spiritually. That’s where we need to go here.
Nina: Okay, let’s give it away here. One of our favorite tools, this is a five minute practice we call protecting the asset. So, the first step is to check in. So first, take a closer look at your time audit or do one on your own any time you find yourself in survival, totally overwhelmed and you don’t have any time. And just consider what are you saying yes to and what are you saying no to?
Kelle: Because when you say yes to one thing, you’re automatically saying no to something else. So, this is how you start to protect the asset, which is you. You see where you’re unwittingly putting your time and energy in your life and this is all just data.
Nina: Be kind to yourselves here, rock stars. We take in all of this information in order to see where we can make shifts. This is all an invitation to do things differently. This is gold.
Kelle: Yeah. Where are you saying yes out of obligation? Where are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? Where are you trying to be polite or do things because you think you should?
Nina: Yeah. And this leads to the second part of this exercise, to check in on your why. So, you’ve figured out what you’re saying yes to, what you’re saying no to. And then we want you to check in on your why and this is just data too. Why are you saying yes to working late most nights? Just be honest with yourself. Why are you saying yes to checking your emails at the soccer game instead of watching the game? Just check in here.
Kelle: Our suggestion here is to like your reasons why. So, if you’re not super pumped on your whys right now, that’s totally fine, it makes sense maybe why you’re feeling so frazzled and sweaty and overwhelmed and resentful.
Nina: Yeah, this is where we need to go to get into alignment, to reconnect with and get clear on what’s really most important to us. And make sure we’re saying yes to those things in an intentional way, creating more balance in your life and relationships with the decisions you make.
Kelle: Yeah. See how when you’re aware of what you’re thinking, you can begin to see how you might be holding yourself back. And when you learn to question those old stories of why you’re saying yes and why you’re saying no, those thoughts in your head, and to manage your mind, you spend less time overthinking.
Nina: Yeah, you have less self-doubt and insecurity. You stop second guessing yourself. You spend less time worrying. You stop people pleasing and start to make decisions for you, guilt free, yes, we said guilt free, we’ll show you how. You’re more intentional about what you’re saying yes to and what you’re saying no to and you stay in alignment, true to how you want to feel and actually enjoy the life you work so hard to create.
Kelle: When you put this into practice, you create more time in your day, in your week and in your life. And when we can put more time in our days, we can create a more fulfilling life. We can fill each moment with what we are wanting to create on purpose instead of mindlessly using our time in our life unintentionally.
Nina: Yeah, a big part of what we do in coaching is learning to like yourself more, making sense of your past, knowing you’ve done everything you’ve done in life so far in a way that’s made a lot of sense. And also realizing there is a better feeling way to do it all.
Kelle: Yeah, you can feel better, more empowered in pursuit of your big dreams and ambitions so, you show up fully at your full potential, not leaking energy or burnout. We’re protecting the asset all along the way.
Nina: Yeah, this is the takeaway today. If you really want to transform your life, you have to invest in your mind and take action from new thoughts, new beliefs. So that new planner, just shelve it for a while. Without doing this deeper mindset work first, you’ll just continue to organize your time on those pages without you in mind, putting everyone else first, rinse and repeat.
Kelle: When we take action from a place of self-respect and self-leadership, we create completely different results in our life than if we were taking action from a place of self-doubt or victim mentality.
Nina: This way life doesn’t happen to us or at us, it happens by us and through us.
Kelle: And I would even say, because of us, and the same goes with how we manage our time, how we live out our day.
Nina: Yeah. If we’re in survival mode, we aren’t approaching our day as the CEO, the chief energy officers. We’re reacting to what life throws at us, and there’s a lot of fear and anxiety. It’s a scramble and a hustle. This is not where we do our best work.
Kelle: That’s why this inner work, this mindset work is so key. We have to clean up our thinking before we can reach for the planner and start to take action. We are creating a life on purpose from a grounded, sufficient place, not a place of scarcity and fear and survival mode.
Nina: Yeah, watching your brain like this is like holding it up to a mirror. You start to become aware of your thoughts and then question them and decide what to do with them, keep them, tweak them, don’t keep them.
Kelle: And listen, there is nothing wrong with what you find when you do this work. You are not broken. Your life looks pretty great from the outside. There is just another way to think about your circumstances, about your obligations and relationships that will make you feel more empowered and create different outcomes.
Nina: Yeah, when you’re telling yourself on repeat that you don’t have enough time, that thought makes you feel rushed and so, you rush through your day. You wind up doing a lot of things but not doing them well, are we right? Maybe even dropping balls. And then your self-esteem and self-confidence tanks and sort of a downward spiral.
Kelle: Yeah, some of the women we work with feel like they’re underliving, maybe you can relate. Our business coach actually calls this underearning, when you know you could be making more money than you are and the only thing holding you back is your own self-concept.
Nina: Yeah. A main cause of underliving is underestimating your own amazingness. It’s like you forgot how priceless you are, and so you don’t treat yourself like the priceless prize you really are.
Kelle: Yeah, I love that so much. We all have all kinds of stories about why we don’t deserve the things that we deeply crave. We have those stories too, and we self-coach and get coaching on them and reach a new level. And then have a new story to clear up when we get to the next level of achievement or growth.
Nina: Yeah. So, are you underliving? Are there dreams you hold in your heart about your life, your work in the world, that you know you are capable of but not currently doing? Man, when I say that aloud, I just want to cry. I know how that feels, I’ve been there. And if this resonates with you, if you also feel that longing, that pining, you are in the right place, you are ambitious-ish, just like me, just like us.
Kelle: Yeah. We’re so here for you. More to come on how to have more time. We’ll bring you strategies and practices in the next episode. But the first step is always to do mindset work. It’s managing your mind so your thinking is clean to take different actions in your life.
Nina: Yeah, so true. That’s how we roll around here, mindset first. Alright, thanks for listening today, all.
Kelle: Yeah, thank you so much for being here. See you next time.
Nina: Hey everyone, if you want more live access to me and Kelle, you have to join our email list.
Kelle: Yes, we’ll come to your email box every Tuesday and Thursday.
Nina: You can ask us questions, get clarity and get coached.
Kelle: We offer monthly free email coaching when you’re on our list and you’re the first to know about trainings, events and other free coaching opportunities.
Nina: Just go to kelleandnina.com. That’s K E L L E and nina.com to sign up.
Kelle: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode of Ambitious-Ish.
Nina: If you’re ready to align your ambitions with your heart and feel more calm, balanced, and connected, visit https://www.kelleandnina.com/ for more information about how to work with us and make sure you get on our list.
Kelle: See you in the next episode!
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