47. How To Set Goals You’ll Actually Achieve This Year
Have you already abandoned your New Year's resolutions? You're not alone. In fact, January 10th is known as "Quitter's Day" because it's when 80% of people give up on their goals. But what if this year could be different?
In this episode, we dive into the top mistakes people make when setting goals and how to avoid them. We share insights from our own experiences and our work coaching ambitious women to achieve their dreams.
Get ready to learn how to set goals in a way that sets you up for success, not failure. We will teach you how to make a plan, work through confusion, and savor your successes along the way. If you're ready to make 2025 your best year yet, this episode is a must-listen!
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why setting goals is essential for living an intentional life.
How to avoid setting too many goals at once.
Why success is never a straight line and how to plan for setbacks.
The dangers of perfectionism and how to embrace B+ work.
How to make a concrete plan to achieve your goals.
Why you should never indulge in self-doubt or confusion.
The importance of savoring and celebrating your successes.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Kelle: Have you ever heard of Quitter's Day?
Nina: Oh, no. Do I want to know? OK, tell me.
Kelle: OK. Quitter's Day was January 10th. It's when the majority of people, about 80 percent of people who made New Year's goals and resolutions, tap out.
Nina: The tap out. Interesting.
Kelle: That's why today we're covering seven common mistakes people make when they set goals and how to avoid them.
Nina: Yeah, the whole point here is to help you learn to set goals in a way you never have before so you can get out of your own way and actually enjoy the life you work so hard to create. So let's get going. This is Ambitious-Ish.
Burnout? Check. Daily overwhelm? Check. Resentment rash, stress, and a complete lack of well-being? Check, check, check! You’re not alone. We’re your hosts, Kelle & Nina, and we are here to help you feel calm, balanced, and empowered so you can redefine success, make choices that feel authentic, and ACTUALLY enjoy the life you work so hard to create. You ready? Let’s go.
Kelle: Hey, I'm Kelle.
Nina: And I'm Nina. Okay, Kel, how are you doing with your goals for the year?
Kelle: Oh boy, I have quite a few. Some personal, some business. So one of my goals is to be more organized, both at work and at home. And part of that is taking one area per week and kind of clearing it out. So we're moving to a new house we've been remodeling in June and I want to get rid of as much clutter as possible to streamline the move.
So on Saturday, I dropped the kids off at Ski team and I had on my schedule to clear off my desk. It was kind of a nice day and I really wanted to get outside. And when it came right down to it, I didn't really want to clean off my desk. Right? But I had already decided that was what I was going to do.
So I made it happen. And that for me used to be the hardest part of setting goals, the actual follow through, doing what I said I was going to do. So I'm really good when I'm doing things for other people. Of course, I do what I say I'm going to do when it's for other people. But when I make a commitment to myself, it's been harder in the past for me to do something that's for myself, right?
To hold myself accountable. And that's something that I've learned and gotten really good at with coaching is trusting myself to do what I say I'm going to do. And now if something is on my calendar, it is done. How about you, Nina?
Nina: Yeah, similar. I think trusting myself more is my invitation this year. So my goal is to be aware of my instincts and to follow them and see where they take me knowing that wherever I land, I can handle it. So trusting that I can handle and will handle it. So it's like letting go of the what if I can'ts and shifting to, wait, what if I can?
You know? And not overthinking any of it. So Kelle's gonna help me stay accountable to myself here, but I think we all kind of unwittingly look outside of ourselves for answers and solutions instead of looking at and trusting what's within us first, what's already here. So here I go, everyone. Watch out, world.
Kelle: Let's see what happens. I already know what's going to happen, Nina. Come on.
Kelle: Okay, let's go a little bit deeper on goals. So why even set them? Seriously, like, what's the point? Why not just stay exactly where we are?
Nina: Totally.
Kelle: Yeah. So often, like, we set goals because we think we should, because I mean, everyone's doing it, right? People are going to ask us what our goals are for the new year. And if you're setting a goal because you think you should, I'm just going to say it right now, You're doing it wrong.
Nina: Totally. We don't say that very often, do we?
Kelle: No, no. Right. Setting goals does not make you a better person. It doesn't make you more valuable or more worthy or more enlightened. None of that.
Nina: Yeah. No. Goals are our missions. They're the intention of an activity or plan. So the goal at the other end of the field is the tangible goal, but your goal is to kick that ball into the net and score. Does that make sense?
Kelle: Okay. So let's talk about just a few reasons we really love and what we've seen with our clients about setting goals. So why bother?
Nina: Because dream lives don't happen by chance, right? If we want to live an intentional life, we have to set goals.
Kelle: Absolutely. Yeah, there are two ways to live. You can live by default, or you can live on purpose. And you live by default by continuing to do exactly what you're doing and be exactly the way you are. And nothing changes.
You'll keep getting the same results you're getting right now. You'll keep feeling the way that you feel right now. You'll keep experiencing life exactly as you are now. But if you want to live a life on purpose, it's super helpful to set goals so that you know exactly what you want, where you're going, and what plan you're gonna make to get there.
Kelle: Yeah, default living still takes effort. You're just putting that effort into staying exactly where you are. So living on purpose takes the same energy but channels it into creating what you actually want. Goals keep you moving towards your dreams, what you really want, your desires.
Nina: Mm-hmm. I love that. Here's another reason I really like to set goals. It's because if you have a goal, your brain has something to focus on intentionally. Without a goal, your brain will find other things, typically problems to focus on.
And it's incredible to put our brains to work on moving us in the direction that we want to go, where we want to be, what we want to create.
Kelle: We put our brains to work focusing on what we want. Like for us in our coaching business, it's reaching the number of women we want to reach, how we want to add to our network. Whether it's through our podcast, Instagram, LinkedIn, speaking engagements, and the number of women we're planning to serve through our coaching this year. Of course, we have a dollar amount that we're looking to hit too, but it's really about the reach we're aiming for. How many women we want to help, And when we do that, the financial goals easily fall into place. It becomes very clear.
Nina: Yeah, it's way more fun to focus on what we're bringing in intentionally, rather than allowing our brains to focus on the negative. And I'm thinking about one client in particular that had a terrible year-end review and how her brain would not let some of the things her boss said go.
Kelle: Oh my gosh, this happens to everyone on default, right? Or how another former client called us last week. She needed a one-off call, which we do for our alumni clients about feeling major imposter syndrome about a new position she went for and one at a new company and now she's like “oh my god I'm not qualified,” which of course she is.
Kelle: Yes of course she is or like the devastating and heartbreaking wildfires in California, I'll admit I have been scrolling in complete shock and disbelief on this. And wow, my heart just really goes out to the community there and all that they're going through. It's just so unbelievable to me. And it makes me want to be even more intentional, knowing that at any moment our lives can change.
Nina: Absolutely. It's so awful. It gives me so much pause. What's going on over there. So our thoughts and prayers are with California.
If you don't have a goal, your brain will find challenges. I'm laughing because this is so true. It will make up problems. It will create stories because that's what our brains are designed to do. We have to direct them to think intentionally towards what we want and think on purpose.
Kelle: Okay, another reason why we love setting goals is that goals allow you to measure progress. So this is a big reason why we set SMART goals. So specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. We talked about this more in the masterclass that we just had, the 2025 Goal-Getting Masterclass that was last week. So we've made the replay available for those of you that didn't catch it the first time.
It was so good. We'll put a link in the show notes for that. Or you can email us at kelleandnina@gmail.com and we'll send you a link.
Nina: Yeah, that replay is killer. So check it out. We definitely unpack a lot more than we are today. It was really impactful. So when you set goals using the SMART format, that acronym SMART, and you measure your progress, you can see exactly how far you've come.
And if we don't pay attention to how far we've come, it's hard to know how much progress we've made or if we're even making any progress at all. This is huge in coaching. We're always celebrating something. Our clients are at first stumped thinking, I don't think I have anything to celebrate. And when we actually look closely, there is always so much to celebrate.
So this is huge. So just that said, let's look at common mistakes we've made or we've seen clients make when setting goals. Okay, here it goes. The first one, setting too many, setting too many goals at once, right, Kelle?
Kelle: Guilty. Definitely resonates with me. And I'll bet it resonates with some of our ambitious listeners out there. There's a lot I want to accomplish this year. I have business goals and I have personal goals, like I said, and I've really noticed issues with what I've said already.
So sleep is really important to me and it has been kind of this ongoing non-negotiable of mine to get enough sleep. And I have a goal of reading 20 books this year. The other night I was reading and I really wanted to finish this book. It was so good and it was so close and it was almost like, do you know how they get better towards the end? This one was like getting so good.
And I wound up staying up later than usual, like much later. And let me tell you my aura ring, it was so not happy in the morning about the amount and the quality of sleep I got.
Kelle: Oh my God, love hate with my aura ring. Yes, yes. All right, next, expecting success to be linear. Okay, this is so true, right? Every client we work with has this challenge, right?
Success does not unfold in a straight line. We have to expect there are going to be ups and downs no matter what. When you let your brain know this ahead of time, when inevitably things don't work out the way you want, when you mess up, when you eat the cookie, right? Or you get on your phone after 8 p.m. When you were planning to put it away, this is where you dig deep, recommit, and continue on your goal-getting path, right?
So you are a human, not a robot. When we goal-set, we have to account for relapse. Have a plan when you go off the rails, because they will, and that's okay. Which leads straight into number three.
Kelle: Yes, yes, perfection. So I'm trying to do it perfectly. Do not allow perfection to distract you or throw you off track. Like Nina said, you're a human, not a robot. A++ is not always feasible or like time friendly or efficient or anything like that.
So B plus work is great. There's a saying, done is better than perfect. And listen, we know this is not how the ambitious women we work with typically think.
Kelle: Totally. Personally, I'm just relating here. Okay, so number four is not making a plan. When you don't make a plan when you set a goal, it's not clear where you need to focus your time and attention. So you're more likely to give yourself an out, think it's too hard, get busy with other things, and not make it happen.
You have to have a plan. There's no, let's just see what happens. We're not leaving our goals and our dreams up to chance here, okay? Listeners, it has to be intentional. The more we can break it down, put it on the calendar, and then decide now to follow the plan no matter what, the more likely you are to succeed.
Yes, yes.
Kelle: So true. So key to make a plan. Okay, the next one, number five, is judging or criticizing yourself. So when you mess up, when you don't succeed, when something doesn't work, like we don't do that, right? We just evaluate.
So what went well? What didn't? And what are we going to do differently? So when you're doing something you have never done before, when you want to go somewhere you've never been, of course things aren't going to go the way you were expecting and hoped every single time, right? Expect you're going to mess up, or things aren't going to happen the way you were hoping, it's gonna happen.
Don't beat yourself up. You're either winning or learning, and I firmly, firmly believe that always.
Nina: Yeah, this is an episode all in itself. We're gonna pin this and come back to it. Totally. No, judging and criticizing yourself is not useful. So number six, letting your self-doubt or default thinking run the show.
Okay, this is self-sabotage. That inner voice that tells you it's too hard and that's okay. Just bail. Quit. Do not quit.
Do not quit. Listeners, do not quit. The only way to really fail is to quit.
Kelle: Yeah, I mean, hard stop on that. Okay, moving on. The next one, number seven, is confusion. So another thing you can't allow is yourself to get confused. We call this indulging in confusion because it's kind of like nice to have confusion to let ourselves be confused because it keeps you stuck.
Nina: Keeps you where you are, totally.
Kelle: Yeah, yeah, and that feels comfortable. And what we want to tell you is you must work through the confusion. Like decide right now that you're going to work through it right when it happens.
Nina: Yeah, we can help you with this. This is a huge one for our clients, right? Confusion. So Yeah, we got you. Okay, the eighth, right?
Not savoring our successes. So we celebrate every session with clients. We celebrate a lot. And we're also very guilty of this one. Not savoring.
We know how to grind it out, get it done, and move on, marching towards progress. Most of us want to wait until we complete the goal to celebrate, until we get there. It's something we've both really had to work on. And actually, Kel, this is a whole nother episode coming up too, right? About being measured in our celebrations and being measured in our happiness.
Why do we stay so measured when good things happen? It's like we're waiting for the shoe to drop, the other shoe to drop.
Kelle: And so this is coming up. We'll talk more about this next time. I just want to piggyback on that, not savoring our successes for a moment. I think this is the most underrated of all, and I'm just going to get sciencey for a sec. The reticular activating system, It's a bundle of nerves at the brainstem and it filters out unnecessary information so that the important stuff gets through.
So the RAS is the reason why you learn a new word and then you start hearing it everywhere. Or that blue car theory where you set your mind to noticing blue cars like maybe you want to get one and then you see them all over the place. It's the reason why what we focus on grows.
So if we focus our energy on what we don't want or the negative, the RAS is why we get more of that. This is why we need to savor our successes. Another thing I really want to note, when we savor our successes, we put our nervous system into rest and digest, that parasympathetic mode where we can be more relaxed, more clear, and more creative to problem solve and keep going.
And, I mean, come on, savoring successes, celebrating, it's just way more fun.
Kelle: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And listen, goal setting, it can feel really serious. Check in on your thoughts about setting goals. Find ways to have fun with your goals and make 2025 your best year yet intentionally.
Nina: So obvious. Yeah. So how many of these mistakes resonate with you? Take a moment and really look at ways you may unwittingly be tripping yourself up. And we got you here.
These are really common mistakes.
Again, we just did a whole masterclass on goal setting and follow through. So if you haven't, you have to catch the replay. It'll be available until the end of the month, Kel, right? January 31st. And we'll put the link in the show notes or you can always just email us for anything, but especially a link to the replay at kelleandnina@gmail.com and we'll send you the link.
Yep. Okay. That's it for today, everyone. Thanks so much for being here.
Kelle: Awesome, thank you. Bye for now.
Nina: Hey everyone, if you want more live access to me and Kelle, you have to join our email list.
Kelle: Yes, we’ll come to your email box every Tuesday and Thursday.
Nina: You can ask us questions, get clarity and get coached.
Kelle: We offer monthly free email coaching when you’re on our list and you’re the first to know about trainings, events and other free coaching opportunities.
Nina: Just go to kelleandnina.com. That’s K E L L E and nina.com to sign up.
Kelle: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode of Ambitious-Ish.
Nina: If you’re ready to align your ambitions with your heart and feel more calm, balanced, and connected, visit https://www.kelleandnina.com/ for more information about how to work with us and make sure you get on our list.
Kelle: See you in the next episode!
Nina: Oh, no. Do I want to know? OK, tell me.
Kelle: OK. Quitter's Day was January 10th. It's when the majority of people, about 80 percent of people who made New Year's goals and resolutions, tap out.
Nina: The tap out. Interesting.
Kelle: That's why today we're covering seven common mistakes people make when they set goals and how to avoid them.
Nina: Yeah, the whole point here is to help you learn to set goals in a way you never have before so you can get out of your own way and actually enjoy the life you work so hard to create. So let's get going. This is Ambitious-Ish.
Burnout? Check. Daily overwhelm? Check. Resentment rash, stress, and a complete lack of well-being? Check, check, check! You’re not alone. We’re your hosts, Kelle & Nina, and we are here to help you feel calm, balanced, and empowered so you can redefine success, make choices that feel authentic, and ACTUALLY enjoy the life you work so hard to create. You ready? Let’s go.
Kelle: Hey, I'm Kelle.
Nina: And I'm Nina. Okay, Kel, how are you doing with your goals for the year?
Kelle: Oh boy, I have quite a few. Some personal, some business. So one of my goals is to be more organized, both at work and at home. And part of that is taking one area per week and kind of clearing it out. So we're moving to a new house we've been remodeling in June and I want to get rid of as much clutter as possible to streamline the move.
So on Saturday, I dropped the kids off at Ski team and I had on my schedule to clear off my desk. It was kind of a nice day and I really wanted to get outside. And when it came right down to it, I didn't really want to clean off my desk. Right? But I had already decided that was what I was going to do.
So I made it happen. And that for me used to be the hardest part of setting goals, the actual follow through, doing what I said I was going to do. So I'm really good when I'm doing things for other people. Of course, I do what I say I'm going to do when it's for other people. But when I make a commitment to myself, it's been harder in the past for me to do something that's for myself, right?
To hold myself accountable. And that's something that I've learned and gotten really good at with coaching is trusting myself to do what I say I'm going to do. And now if something is on my calendar, it is done. How about you, Nina?
Nina: Yeah, similar. I think trusting myself more is my invitation this year. So my goal is to be aware of my instincts and to follow them and see where they take me knowing that wherever I land, I can handle it. So trusting that I can handle and will handle it. So it's like letting go of the what if I can'ts and shifting to, wait, what if I can?
You know? And not overthinking any of it. So Kelle's gonna help me stay accountable to myself here, but I think we all kind of unwittingly look outside of ourselves for answers and solutions instead of looking at and trusting what's within us first, what's already here. So here I go, everyone. Watch out, world.
Kelle: Let's see what happens. I already know what's going to happen, Nina. Come on.
Kelle: Okay, let's go a little bit deeper on goals. So why even set them? Seriously, like, what's the point? Why not just stay exactly where we are?
Nina: Totally.
Kelle: Yeah. So often, like, we set goals because we think we should, because I mean, everyone's doing it, right? People are going to ask us what our goals are for the new year. And if you're setting a goal because you think you should, I'm just going to say it right now, You're doing it wrong.
Nina: Totally. We don't say that very often, do we?
Kelle: No, no. Right. Setting goals does not make you a better person. It doesn't make you more valuable or more worthy or more enlightened. None of that.
Nina: Yeah. No. Goals are our missions. They're the intention of an activity or plan. So the goal at the other end of the field is the tangible goal, but your goal is to kick that ball into the net and score. Does that make sense?
Kelle: Okay. So let's talk about just a few reasons we really love and what we've seen with our clients about setting goals. So why bother?
Nina: Because dream lives don't happen by chance, right? If we want to live an intentional life, we have to set goals.
Kelle: Absolutely. Yeah, there are two ways to live. You can live by default, or you can live on purpose. And you live by default by continuing to do exactly what you're doing and be exactly the way you are. And nothing changes.
You'll keep getting the same results you're getting right now. You'll keep feeling the way that you feel right now. You'll keep experiencing life exactly as you are now. But if you want to live a life on purpose, it's super helpful to set goals so that you know exactly what you want, where you're going, and what plan you're gonna make to get there.
Kelle: Yeah, default living still takes effort. You're just putting that effort into staying exactly where you are. So living on purpose takes the same energy but channels it into creating what you actually want. Goals keep you moving towards your dreams, what you really want, your desires.
Nina: Mm-hmm. I love that. Here's another reason I really like to set goals. It's because if you have a goal, your brain has something to focus on intentionally. Without a goal, your brain will find other things, typically problems to focus on.
And it's incredible to put our brains to work on moving us in the direction that we want to go, where we want to be, what we want to create.
Kelle: We put our brains to work focusing on what we want. Like for us in our coaching business, it's reaching the number of women we want to reach, how we want to add to our network. Whether it's through our podcast, Instagram, LinkedIn, speaking engagements, and the number of women we're planning to serve through our coaching this year. Of course, we have a dollar amount that we're looking to hit too, but it's really about the reach we're aiming for. How many women we want to help, And when we do that, the financial goals easily fall into place. It becomes very clear.
Nina: Yeah, it's way more fun to focus on what we're bringing in intentionally, rather than allowing our brains to focus on the negative. And I'm thinking about one client in particular that had a terrible year-end review and how her brain would not let some of the things her boss said go.
Kelle: Oh my gosh, this happens to everyone on default, right? Or how another former client called us last week. She needed a one-off call, which we do for our alumni clients about feeling major imposter syndrome about a new position she went for and one at a new company and now she's like “oh my god I'm not qualified,” which of course she is.
Kelle: Yes of course she is or like the devastating and heartbreaking wildfires in California, I'll admit I have been scrolling in complete shock and disbelief on this. And wow, my heart just really goes out to the community there and all that they're going through. It's just so unbelievable to me. And it makes me want to be even more intentional, knowing that at any moment our lives can change.
Nina: Absolutely. It's so awful. It gives me so much pause. What's going on over there. So our thoughts and prayers are with California.
If you don't have a goal, your brain will find challenges. I'm laughing because this is so true. It will make up problems. It will create stories because that's what our brains are designed to do. We have to direct them to think intentionally towards what we want and think on purpose.
Kelle: Okay, another reason why we love setting goals is that goals allow you to measure progress. So this is a big reason why we set SMART goals. So specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. We talked about this more in the masterclass that we just had, the 2025 Goal-Getting Masterclass that was last week. So we've made the replay available for those of you that didn't catch it the first time.
It was so good. We'll put a link in the show notes for that. Or you can email us at kelleandnina@gmail.com and we'll send you a link.
Nina: Yeah, that replay is killer. So check it out. We definitely unpack a lot more than we are today. It was really impactful. So when you set goals using the SMART format, that acronym SMART, and you measure your progress, you can see exactly how far you've come.
And if we don't pay attention to how far we've come, it's hard to know how much progress we've made or if we're even making any progress at all. This is huge in coaching. We're always celebrating something. Our clients are at first stumped thinking, I don't think I have anything to celebrate. And when we actually look closely, there is always so much to celebrate.
So this is huge. So just that said, let's look at common mistakes we've made or we've seen clients make when setting goals. Okay, here it goes. The first one, setting too many, setting too many goals at once, right, Kelle?
Kelle: Guilty. Definitely resonates with me. And I'll bet it resonates with some of our ambitious listeners out there. There's a lot I want to accomplish this year. I have business goals and I have personal goals, like I said, and I've really noticed issues with what I've said already.
So sleep is really important to me and it has been kind of this ongoing non-negotiable of mine to get enough sleep. And I have a goal of reading 20 books this year. The other night I was reading and I really wanted to finish this book. It was so good and it was so close and it was almost like, do you know how they get better towards the end? This one was like getting so good.
And I wound up staying up later than usual, like much later. And let me tell you my aura ring, it was so not happy in the morning about the amount and the quality of sleep I got.
Kelle: Oh my God, love hate with my aura ring. Yes, yes. All right, next, expecting success to be linear. Okay, this is so true, right? Every client we work with has this challenge, right?
Success does not unfold in a straight line. We have to expect there are going to be ups and downs no matter what. When you let your brain know this ahead of time, when inevitably things don't work out the way you want, when you mess up, when you eat the cookie, right? Or you get on your phone after 8 p.m. When you were planning to put it away, this is where you dig deep, recommit, and continue on your goal-getting path, right?
So you are a human, not a robot. When we goal-set, we have to account for relapse. Have a plan when you go off the rails, because they will, and that's okay. Which leads straight into number three.
Kelle: Yes, yes, perfection. So I'm trying to do it perfectly. Do not allow perfection to distract you or throw you off track. Like Nina said, you're a human, not a robot. A++ is not always feasible or like time friendly or efficient or anything like that.
So B plus work is great. There's a saying, done is better than perfect. And listen, we know this is not how the ambitious women we work with typically think.
Kelle: Totally. Personally, I'm just relating here. Okay, so number four is not making a plan. When you don't make a plan when you set a goal, it's not clear where you need to focus your time and attention. So you're more likely to give yourself an out, think it's too hard, get busy with other things, and not make it happen.
You have to have a plan. There's no, let's just see what happens. We're not leaving our goals and our dreams up to chance here, okay? Listeners, it has to be intentional. The more we can break it down, put it on the calendar, and then decide now to follow the plan no matter what, the more likely you are to succeed.
Yes, yes.
Kelle: So true. So key to make a plan. Okay, the next one, number five, is judging or criticizing yourself. So when you mess up, when you don't succeed, when something doesn't work, like we don't do that, right? We just evaluate.
So what went well? What didn't? And what are we going to do differently? So when you're doing something you have never done before, when you want to go somewhere you've never been, of course things aren't going to go the way you were expecting and hoped every single time, right? Expect you're going to mess up, or things aren't going to happen the way you were hoping, it's gonna happen.
Don't beat yourself up. You're either winning or learning, and I firmly, firmly believe that always.
Nina: Yeah, this is an episode all in itself. We're gonna pin this and come back to it. Totally. No, judging and criticizing yourself is not useful. So number six, letting your self-doubt or default thinking run the show.
Okay, this is self-sabotage. That inner voice that tells you it's too hard and that's okay. Just bail. Quit. Do not quit.
Do not quit. Listeners, do not quit. The only way to really fail is to quit.
Kelle: Yeah, I mean, hard stop on that. Okay, moving on. The next one, number seven, is confusion. So another thing you can't allow is yourself to get confused. We call this indulging in confusion because it's kind of like nice to have confusion to let ourselves be confused because it keeps you stuck.
Nina: Keeps you where you are, totally.
Kelle: Yeah, yeah, and that feels comfortable. And what we want to tell you is you must work through the confusion. Like decide right now that you're going to work through it right when it happens.
Nina: Yeah, we can help you with this. This is a huge one for our clients, right? Confusion. So Yeah, we got you. Okay, the eighth, right?
Not savoring our successes. So we celebrate every session with clients. We celebrate a lot. And we're also very guilty of this one. Not savoring.
We know how to grind it out, get it done, and move on, marching towards progress. Most of us want to wait until we complete the goal to celebrate, until we get there. It's something we've both really had to work on. And actually, Kel, this is a whole nother episode coming up too, right? About being measured in our celebrations and being measured in our happiness.
Why do we stay so measured when good things happen? It's like we're waiting for the shoe to drop, the other shoe to drop.
Kelle: And so this is coming up. We'll talk more about this next time. I just want to piggyback on that, not savoring our successes for a moment. I think this is the most underrated of all, and I'm just going to get sciencey for a sec. The reticular activating system, It's a bundle of nerves at the brainstem and it filters out unnecessary information so that the important stuff gets through.
So the RAS is the reason why you learn a new word and then you start hearing it everywhere. Or that blue car theory where you set your mind to noticing blue cars like maybe you want to get one and then you see them all over the place. It's the reason why what we focus on grows.
So if we focus our energy on what we don't want or the negative, the RAS is why we get more of that. This is why we need to savor our successes. Another thing I really want to note, when we savor our successes, we put our nervous system into rest and digest, that parasympathetic mode where we can be more relaxed, more clear, and more creative to problem solve and keep going.
And, I mean, come on, savoring successes, celebrating, it's just way more fun.
Kelle: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And listen, goal setting, it can feel really serious. Check in on your thoughts about setting goals. Find ways to have fun with your goals and make 2025 your best year yet intentionally.
Nina: So obvious. Yeah. So how many of these mistakes resonate with you? Take a moment and really look at ways you may unwittingly be tripping yourself up. And we got you here.
These are really common mistakes.
Again, we just did a whole masterclass on goal setting and follow through. So if you haven't, you have to catch the replay. It'll be available until the end of the month, Kel, right? January 31st. And we'll put the link in the show notes or you can always just email us for anything, but especially a link to the replay at kelleandnina@gmail.com and we'll send you the link.
Yep. Okay. That's it for today, everyone. Thanks so much for being here.
Kelle: Awesome, thank you. Bye for now.
Nina: Hey everyone, if you want more live access to me and Kelle, you have to join our email list.
Kelle: Yes, we’ll come to your email box every Tuesday and Thursday.
Nina: You can ask us questions, get clarity and get coached.
Kelle: We offer monthly free email coaching when you’re on our list and you’re the first to know about trainings, events and other free coaching opportunities.
Nina: Just go to kelleandnina.com. That’s K E L L E and nina.com to sign up.
Kelle: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode of Ambitious-Ish.
Nina: If you’re ready to align your ambitions with your heart and feel more calm, balanced, and connected, visit https://www.kelleandnina.com/ for more information about how to work with us and make sure you get on our list.
Kelle: See you in the next episode!
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